Doubting Thomas

Last night I received a short message from a friend commenting on this new blog and I have been reflecting upon it ever since. “I enjoyed that. It makes me wish I still believed in God,” he wrote. “Me too,” I thought to myself.
The first thing one sees when entering the church where I currently reside is our chapel where the Blessed Sacrament is kept. Over the doors are the words, “My Lord And My God”, the same words once spoken by Saint Thomas when he realized that beyond all belief Jesus was indeed risen from the dead and standing before him. Thomas is a very appealing figure within Christianity and maybe even more so within American culture in particular. Thomas expresses what I think many of us feel when confronted with those who wish to share the faith with us. When the other apostles announce to him the good news that Jesus is risen he looks them square in the eyes and says, “don’t tell me, show me“. Thomas makes it clear by his statement that he desperately wants to believe what his friends have told him, but he needs solid evidence. “I’ll never believe it without probing the nailprints in his hands, without putting my finger in the nailmarks and my hand into his side.”
The area of the county where I grew up is called the Bible Belt. In Chattanooga we even went so far as to say that we lived in the buckle of the Bible Belt. One peculiar aspect of growing up in the Bible Belt is the number of times one can answer the door to find members of various churches who want to speak to you about whether or not you have been saved. If you were not saved, and we as Roman Catholics were never even considered to be Christians, they would begin to talk about why joining their particular church is essential in order to avoid the eternal damnation of your soul. Though I never doubted the sincerity of those who would show up regularly on my doorstep, I have often wondered if they do not turn more people away from Christianity than they bring to it. Most of us, like Thomas, need more than just words to be able to see Christ’s presence in the world. One of my favorite stories involving door to door evangelists involves a young girl who when asked, “Have you found Jesus?” replied in all sincerity, “No. I didn’t know he was lost.”
The courage of Saint Thomas allows me to understand that even when I feel lost, when it seems like God is completely absent and I can’t find Him, it is God who comes looking for me. Jesus is not lost, He is the one who seeks the lost, a group that included Saint Thomas and most certainly includes you and me.





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