In your love, my salvation lies
Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude
–Martin Luther King Jr.
The life of a priest is centered upon building the Kindgom of God. This was the message placed before my brother priests and I at our annual study day in Gatlinburg, TN. Our presenter, Pat Kelly, suggested that building the Kingdom is not about creating programs, but in learning to live lives that are centered around forgiveness.
A highlight of the day for me was Pat’s response when asked about confrontation, especially with someone with whom we strongly disagree. She responded without hesitation that we must treat all people with respect and dignity. A few of my brother priests noted how difficult this can be, especially when there are moral issues at stake. There is no doubt in my mind that there are actions and opinions contrary to the Gospel that we must confront, but always with respect for the person being challenged.
Christianity calls us to develop attitudes of forgiveness. We must be ready to make a conscious choice to forgive, rather than to hold tightly to past wrongs committed against us. This does not mean that we simply gloss over the fact that the actions of others often really do hurt us. Sin is real in our world and though we don’t have control of other’s actions, we do get to choose how we will respond to them. When we choose to hold on to the sins that are committed against us, when we allow them to fester and turn into resentment, we allow ourselves to become slaves to the sins of others. My friend David puts it this way, “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.”
We all know that forgiveness is not easy. Sin causes great destruction in our lives, sometimes in ways bigger than we could have ever imagined. Relationships fall apart. Friends betray one another’s trust. Children are abused. People fall victim to violence. The list of possibilities is endless. My own experience has taught me that the beginning of forgiveness lies in choosing it. Even when I have been unable to forgive someone immediately, even when I did not like the person who needed forgiveness, even when I have known a person would likely never ask to be forgiven, the first step has always been to make the decision to forgive. The second thing necessary is prayer. I need God’s help in discovering the way to best let go of past wrongs. Sometimes it means to simply get up each day and say to God, “I want to forgive. I don’t know how to forgive. Show me the way.” The final tool that I have found useful in this process is again related to attitude. When I can see myself as a person in need of forgiveness for my own sins, it takes away the temptation to place myself in the position of looking down upon others in judgement as if I had no need of being forgiven myself.
Ultimately, Christians receive our salvation from the love of God. The longer I live, the more I recognize my own faults and weaknesses. There is also, however, the continual amazement that comes from the unquenchable mercy of God. I find that in discovering the way to forgive those who have harmed me, I am also finding the way to heal my own soul. God’s love is a powerful force when we allow it to enter our lives. I pray for the courage to continue to seek the Kingdom of God each day through love and reconciliation.
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