Blessed is the Kingdom

Seeking The Kingdom In All Things

Relationships in 140 Characters or Less

I suppose that a few years of blogging makes it pretty obvious that I enjoy the world of social media. Blogging has led to Facebook, which led to podcasting and most recently the Twitter. I have to say that until I first began this blog, I was not what one would call a “true believer” in these modern tools of the internet. Too many blogs that I had encountered were, well, just poor in both content and style. I saw no reason for giving them my attention. Facebook seemed like a nice diversion for people who were supposed to be at work, and Twitter looked to be all about people who were so into themselves that they needed to constantly update people on what they were doing all day. Most of it seemed to me to be geared to taking people away from living their actual lives in favor of a virtual one.

Recently I had an exchange with my friend John who articulated my former thoughts well when he stated, “Twitter is basically a way to create many virtual relationships at the expense of real ones.” (Sorry John if that is not an accurate paraphrase) I understand his point, and I do think we can end up spending hours online at the expense of our family, friends and other responsibilities. People have been using similar things like television to do the same for years.

One thing that strikes me about the internet, however, is that it allows for interaction between people, that something like television does not. This is not always a positive as people often seem to say things to others online that I at least hope they would never say if the person were standing in front of them. All one need do is read the comments page of any political opinion piece of the New York Times to see this in all its glory. But that is only one side of the coin. These tools of the internet have also made it possible to actually draw people closer together in a way the builds relationships that can spill over into real life. One good example that comes to my mind is the fact that my brother first met his wife via the internet. It was only later that they met in real life. It seemed in their case that having to simply spend time conversing strengthened their relationship in real life because it was able to focus them both on talking about their values. My blog has introduced me to friends around the world, many of whom I am now beginning to meet in real life. The most recent were a couple at this past Sunday’s Theology on Tap and fellow blogger Steve Robinson who I spent several days with this past spring. Twitter seems to be the hardest sell on this, but I have been amazed that through tweetups, I have met many local tweeters and begun new friendships.

It seems to me that these new vehicles of communication, like anything else, can be used for building relationships with others, or for building walls around ourselves. Which one is determined by those of us who use them. What has been your experience with social media? Do you think new technology helps or hinders human relationships?

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This entry was posted by on Tuesday, September 21st, 2010 at 7:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

About The Author

Fr. Christian is the pastor of St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Lenoir City, TN.

Comments

  • http://nowealthbutlife.com Rae

    As you might imagine, I agree with you. I watch a bit of Hulu (perhaps an hour or two a week) but for the most part I find blogs/twitter to be a much better use of my time. I first “met” some of my best friends online, but even if I hadn’t ever met them “in real life” I still think that it would have been worth it.

    At the moment I am overwhelmed, but I am working on figuring out what works for me at this stage in my life precisely because I believe that “new technology helps human relationships” and I need to do the best that I can to take advantage of that.

  • http://adorotedevote.blogspot.com Adoro

    While I’m on FB and admit I waste too much time on it (altho’ not on games *shudder*), I once left Twiitter only to return for reasons that are a mystery even to me. I go there only sporadically as it’s completely un-navigable. Who has time to page and page and page through “tweets”?

    I don’t.

    I go online, check stuff, and leave.

    But I will say this; I have met true friends through blogging, people I have come to meet in real life and found to be lasting friends. I have met my future religious community via social networking; and were it not for such I would not even have KNOWN about them!

    SN has value, but that value depends upon the user. It is simply a medium to be utilized, hopefully wisely, hopefully with God’s Providence.

    As with anything, if God isn’t a part of it, then it’s trash.

  • http://pithlessthoughts.blogspot.com/2004/08/election.html s-p

    Even though I’m quite present on the internet, I still have reservations about its benefits in the bigger picture. I count it a blessing to have met you and many other people in person that I’ve only known through comment boxes and email, but I can’t quite shake my wife’s criticism of what my internet time has cost my family life…. The reality is, the time I’m taking to write this comment could have been spent with my daughter or my wife who are upstairs. But all of life is a trade off in almost all areas, and all of life is about finding balance, and I don’t think I should rely on my own sensibilities of “balance” to determine that for myself in general.

  • http://www.emahlou.blogspot.com elizabeth mahlou

    Although I do spend some time blogging and enjoy reading and following well-written blogs, being an extrovert, I still prefer the person-to-person form of communication. Or maybe I am just old-fashioned…

    As for Facebook, I use it primarily in a very pragmatic way: to keep current on a daily basis with what the kids, who live all over the States (and world), are doing at the moment. It is a bit like they are still living at home, which has a warm feeling to it. I do not friend colleagues because of this highly personal use of FB although I do friend friends. Again, I am probably old-fashioned and a bit prudish, but to each his/her own, as they say.

    Thought-provoking post.

  • Fr. Christian Mathis

    Thanks for the insightful comments. I know that I spend what I would consider to be too much time engaging in social media, but I also know that it is allowing me, with regards to ministry, to reach a wider audience of people. It also has allowed me to engage in conversations that are helping me to grow with regards to my own journey of faith.

    I know also that it would be a mistake to let it replace the benefits of real life conversations and relationships.

  • http://www.fromthepulpitofmylife.blogspot.com/ Ruth Ann

    Fr. Mathis, one thing I do periodically is to take a “leave-of-absence” or “Sabbath” from being connected through social media to many people. I do this when I find myself getting stressed from what I’m hearing/reading. I am highly introverted, so it’s my nature to take things to heart and mull over them—too much! Also, I take leave when I feel the interaction with others is interfering with my prayer life or my home responsibilities. These latter two activities are central to my life. I need them to stay balanced. Because I’m retired, my engagement with social media does not impinge on work, and I feel good to say that I had good discipline at work and used the Internet for work-related matters only.

    I appreciate these insights of yours:

    The role of television as a vehicle for ignoring family, friends and responsibilities. Some members of my family have used TV that way and yet are quick to condemn those who use the Internet.

    Social media make it “possible to actually draw people closer together in a way the builds relationships that can spill over into real life.” I definitely feel closer to my family members and friends who live way to distant to physically visit very often. And I’ve met the younger generations in my family and hope, eventually, to travel to see them in person.

    I

  • http://faithandfood.morizot.net/ Scott Morizot

    I’ve long been “socially” active online (since the ancient days of Usenet in the early to mid-nineties, actually). I’ve read and commented on blogs for many years now and hosted some for friends on my hosting service. I resisted starting my own until I was diagnosed with celiac.

    I joined twitter well over two years ago largely because a good friend of mine did. Initially I primarily used twitter for general information (local newspaper makes very good use of it) and to interact with some friends — mostly real life, but also some I had made online over the years. I’ve never been one to try to draw followers and I’m selective about whom I choose to follow. I’m one of those who actually reads his twitter stream over the course of the day and not just selected groups out of it. A client is really necessary to make twitter truly navigable and useful. Before I had my smartphone, I used tweetdeck on my desktop and had the tweets of those I really cared about also delivered as sms messages. Now I use seesmic on my android phone and only a few friends and DMs are also delivered as SMS messages.

    When I was diagnosed with celiac, I also discovered another powerful aspect of twitter. It can provide the basis to link a community around a particular need that is geographically dispersed and a relatively small percent of the population. While studies have show that the rate of active celiac in the general population is roughly 1-2%, most of those people (as many as 90%) are currently undiagnosed. (They used blood tests in a statistically valid study of over 13,000 participants to determine both those rates.) Twitter has been an invaluable source of community and information since I was diagnosed with celiac.

    I don’t participate on facebook, though my wife and children do. I’m not fond of the way it uses your personal information to suggest your name to people who might have known you in the past. I have a distinctive name and am not hard to find if someone remembers me and wants to contact me. My life has been such that I’m not sure I really want people who have forgotten me or who aren’t otherwise looking for me reminded that I exist, much less be suggested to them as a ‘friend’.

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