Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.

by Fr. Christian Mathis on September 28, 2012

Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.

Maxim #48

As a seminarian, I was required to complete one unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, or as we referred to it, CPE. My CPE experience took place at the University of Tennessee Medical Center, where I served as a chaplain. One of the duties involved with being a hospital chaplain is to spend a night on call each week. On a typical night, I would expect to receive a call or page from someone in need of assistance with cab fare. These calls always came between 2-4 am and my response was always the same. After having a conversation with the person in which I asked if there was any other way for them to find transportation and having been told no, I would offer to meet them at 7 am. I would ask them to continue to look for a solution on their own, but that if they could not find a ride I would be happy to pay for a cab the next morning. No one ever showed up at 7 am.

Christians are called to be people of charity. This means that when we see someone in need of assistance, we should cheerfully give what is needed. This doesn’t mean that we are called to give our money, our time, and other resources indiscriminately. Providing assistance to another person who cannot do so for themselves is a genuine act of charity. Providing for someone who can and should do so for themselves is an act of foolishness on the part of the giver and does little to serve the person receiving the gift. When we do things for others who have the ability to do so themselves, we rob them of living the life God intended for them. We also steal from the people who genuinely need and deserve our help.

What has been your experience when assisting those in need? What have been your positive experiences, your negative ones? Your comments, as always, are welcome.

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Tagged as: 55 Maxims, assistance, charity, Clinical Pastoral Education, CPE, Fr. Thomas Hopko, helping, hospital, hospital ministry

  • http://www.facebook.com/christine.maentz Christine Maentz Smileyfaceart

    This message came at a great time. Friends of ours are heading into some tough times & I felt we just had to do something.. they have 5 little kids. But they also have a very smart mom & dad who should be able to take care of themselves & their kids. We’ll see what happens before we jump in to help. Like your message – lets see how they help themselves before we dive in. Thanks Fr Christian!

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    Don’t get me wrong Christine. I think helping others is a good and necessary thing for Christians. It is also true that each of us has limited resources to do so, so I do feel we should try to use those resources in the best way possible. The hard part is discerning the best way to assist those in need that God puts before us.

  • http://fathershelton.blogspot.com/ Father Shelton

    I tend to handle these situations the way you suggest. We use Charity Check here. But I’m just not sure it is the right approach. It sounds rather paternalistic, arrogant and, frankly, Republican. This presents is a genuine dilemma for me. Thanks for stirring my thoughts so well.

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    What would you suggest is the right approach?

  • http://fathershelton.blogspot.com/ Father Shelton

    I just don’t know.

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    I feel we have to take a stance. It is not ok to sit on the sidelines.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003366527204 Steve Robinson

    This is a tough one because sometimes we encounter people with needs who we don’t know well enough to know whether we are enabling or supporting. I think we err on the side of charity but have to be strong enough to set boundaries and pull back if necessary. Good Christian charitable people will get used, but wise Christian people will not get used twice by the same person.

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    Thanks for the wisdom Steve.

  • FranRossiSzpylczyn

    I thought about this post all weekend. I am a frequent reader, but rarely do I comment… in fact, I may have never done so.

    In my job as parish secretary, I encounter so many people in need. In four years of doing this (after 30 in the corporate world -culture shock!) I have thought about this more than a little.

    For me, I pray to err on the side of justice and charity. If someone does scam, if we enable, how can we say that God is not at work? Changing our own hearts, which may be hardening, at the same time, helping to transform the other person.

    Yet, I would be a liar if I said that I did not continue to struggle.

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    I can’t argue with erring on the side of charity Fran. If it weren’t a struggle for those of us in ministry, I would worry. I know for a fact I have been scammed before and likely will be again. My biggest struggle as a pastor is to make sure that our parish both continues to assist those truly in need while at the same time being responsible with the resources available. Keep up the struggle!

  • Stu

    Social justice tenent of Subsidiarity (ccc 1883, 84, 85) states – neither the state nor any larger society should substitute itself for the initiative and responsibily of individuals … but this is very seldom a black and white decision so I tend to err on the helping side.

  • http://fathershelton.blogspot.com/ Father Shelton

    Well said.

  • http://fathershelton.blogspot.com/ Father Shelton

    This is an excellent post. It addresses the practical side of Christianity head on. Somehow, we must must help each other without hurting each other, and the poor present an especially challenging opportunity to figure out how to do this. “I’m on my way from Chicago to Miami where my cousin has a job waiting for me, but I need just 30 more dollars to get my transmission fixed. Can you help?” How many times have I heard this story, with minor changes in detail? I don’t ever know what to do.

  • http://www.blessedisthekingdom.com Fr. Christian Mathis

    I used to be amused by the guy in Knoxville whose house burned down every two months or so. One time I responded, “Again? That’s three times this year!”

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