I recently finished reading Jon Acuff’s new book, Start. In one section of the book he mentions that he always wanted to be in a plane crash. Before you begin thinking he has lost his mind, he makes it clear that the kind of crash he was looking for is the kind where everyone walks away a survivor, having had a near death experience. Since it is very unlikely that most of us will ever be in a real plane crash, he suggests that surviving a plane crash in one’s head is much easier to accomplish. I might add that it is also much safer.

Most of us don’t have near death experiences every day to remind us how precious life is. But all of us have the opportunity to ask ourselves the kind of questions that such an experience can bring to the surface. Acuff suggests two:

1. If I died today, what would I regret not being able to do?

2. Are those the things I’m spending time doing right now?

Over the last few years I have found myself allowing unimportant things to take center stage in my life. As a result, many of my more important goals have fallen along the wayside.

Standing in an open field and looking back at the wreckage of a smoldering plane makes it much easier to be thankful for life and to find the answers to the questions posed above. But answering the questions is just the beginning. Once the answers are clear and we know the extent to which our time is not being spent on the most important things, the real work begins. There is no time like the present to start.

During my last weekend at St. Thomas, a friend and parishioner handed me a book called Hiking Through by Paul Stutzman. He told me that it might have a message for me. This past week I have been reading it, reliving my own moments on the Appalachian Trail and remembering the lessons learned through the experience. I am beginning to see that that quite a few of the things I have learned on the trail apply to living in sobriety. Here is a small story from Stutzman’s book:

Relaxing alone in my tent, I thought about the month I had spent on the trail. I’d seen and done so much, everything far removed from my previous life. I had learned to accept the friendship of others quite different from myself, and I was beginning to be happy being me, even with all my shortcomings.

Every day, it seemed that God revealed more of Himself to me. Perhaps it was because I wanted to hear. Several days before, I had been following a young man on the trail. When I was within speaking distance, I attempted a conversation with him, but was ignored. I realized he had earbuds in and was focused on his music. Everywhere these days, people are plugging their ears and depriving themselves of good conversation. That earpiece is like putting up a “Do Not Disturb” sign. This ear-plugged hiker shut out not only all conversation with fellow humans, but also all the sounds of nature. He could not hear the singing birds or the whispering pines.

Apparently he could not even hear approaching thunder. The ear-plugged young man had a hiking partner who was a short distance ahead of him. Thunder had been rumbling around us, and raindrops started to fall as we crossed a road. The unplugged hiker had heard the warning rumbles; catching sight of a country church down the road, he dashed to the refuge of its little porch. But the other hiker marched on, head down, watching the trail and concentrating only on his music. His friend stood on that dry porch, calling, but the hiker never saw his friend leave the trail and certainly did not hear his name called out. He was soaked by the rain and separated from his partner. I wonder how far he walked before he realized he was alone.

Though I watched with amusement as this little scene played out, I felt an inner nudge that said, “That’s you, you know.” And I got it. I saw myself in church on Sunday mornings, hoping to hear from God but letting so many worries and distractions clog my mind that I never could hear Him, even when He stood there calling my name. I saw the times I had knelt for a quick prayer at night and then immediately tumbled into sleep. How could God talk to a sleeping person?

Now I had finally removed everything plugging my ears and my head, and I felt willing and able to listen to God. 

” I know that after my departure savage wolves will come among you, and they will not spare the flock.”

Acts 20: 29

The recent movie, The Grey, tells the story of a group of men who survive a plane crash in Alaska and are left at the mercy of savage wolves. As they attempt to make their way out of the wilderness, they are separated from the group and killed, one by one, by a pack of wolves.

Images from the movie filled my head as I listened today to Paul’s farewell to the leaders in Ephesus. His words are a reminder that we are most vulnerable when we attempt to face our challenges alone. The good news is that while each one of us alone is weak, together we are strong.

This short clip from The Straight Story always reminds me to be grateful for God’s gift of family and friends. Our Christian pilgrimage is full of adventure, but it is also a journey filled with dangers best not to be met alone.

At today’s mass we heard the account of Paul’s preaching to the people of Athens about the unknown God. Paul cleverly used the Athenians’ catch all shrine to enlighten them with words about Jesus and his resurrection. As I have reflected on this account it strikes me that there will always be much more that is unknown to us about God than there is known. He is so much more than what we can ever imagine. At the same time I must admit that many times my mind is closed to encounters with God as He actually is and much of this comes from making the mistake that I know a lot about Him. How many times am I like so many in Athens who when they heard Paul’s preaching chose to ignore it, or at best to say, “We would like to hear you speak on this some other time,” rather than allowing myself to be challenged by what the present moment has placed before me. Today I pray that I may seek to know God as He is and by doing so come to know more clearly His will for me.

A hat tip to my friend Hope Feist for sharing this video of the Gundersen Family earlier today. Enjoy!

During the homily at my ordination to the priesthood, Archbishop Kurtz mentioned that he had recently seen a bumper sticker that caused him to think of me. The sticker read, “You are a unique individual, just like everyone else.” He then went on to remind me that God had indeed given me unique gifts that should be put to use in service to others, but that this service should always be done in a spirit of humility, knowing that no one ministers alone. First and foremost we remember that as priests it is not our own ministry, but Christ’s that we carry out.

So often we forget that it is impossible to be a Christian by oneself. Christianity by its very nature is built around community. Each of us, with our unique gifts together make up the whole Body of Christ.

One of the blessing of the last week has been getting to know the other priests and religious with whom I am sharing a house. Each of us brings his own story, but all of us share the same struggles and the same desire to get well and return to the ministry God has called us to. Though we each have work to do as individuals, it will ultimately be by working for and with one another that we will achieve success. Together we can do what is impossible to do alone.

“We can safeguard the Church, we can cure the Church, no? We do so with our work, but what’s most important is what the Lord does: He is the only One who can look into the face of evil and overcome it. The prince of the world comes but can do nothing against me: if we don’t want the prince of this world to take the Church into his hands, we must entrust it to the One who can defeat the prince of this world.” (from Pope Francis’ daily homily, April 30, 2013)

Our greatest hope in becoming the person God intended us to be is to turn our lives completely over to Him. When we begin each day by entrusting ourselves and the Church to God, our chances for success increase immensely. I am grateful for Pope Francis’ reminder today.

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

During my first weeks of high school, I learned along with the rest of my classmates that there was a long tradition of freshman hazing. It was nothing that left me with trauma. We all had to wear bibs, participate in tricycle races, etc. Nonetheless, I didn’t particularly like it, and I soon came up with a strategy for the week. The plan was to become friends with the biggest and meanest looking senior on the football team. It was a successful plan that resulted in an end to my hazing for the week.

One of main reasons I have been unable to stop drinking is the fact that up until recently I believed I had the power to do so on my own. I believed that with a little help, I would be able to get things under control, that it was simply a matter of having more will power. It turns out that the help I needed is the same help that all addicts need, the help of God, who is more powerful than any addiction. When we are up against a power stronger than ourselves, there are really only two options available. We must either turn to a higher power or we lose.

Part of being human is to find ourselves powerless over certain things. It is only by turning to God for help each day that we will be able to face such challenges with success.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  You have faith in God; have faith also in me.  In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.”  Thomas said to him,  “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?”  Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.” (14:1-6)

“And all of Christian life is the work of Jesus, the Holy Spirit to prepare a place, prepare our eyes to be able to see … ‘But, Father, I see fine! I don’t need glasses! ‘: But that’s another type of vision …. Think of those who are suffering from cataracts and have to undergo an operation to remove them: they can still see, but after surgery what do they all say? ‘I never thought you could see so well without glasses!’. Our eyes, the eyes of our soul they need, they have to be prepared to contemplate the beautiful face of Jesus. Our hearing must be prepared in order to hear the beautiful things, the beautiful words. Above all our hearts must be prepared: prepared for love, to love more”. (Pope Francis’ daily homily, April 26, 2013)

This morning I was struck by the words of  our Holy Father that describe how Jesus works to prepare us for the fullness of relationship with him that he desires. Jesus not only prepares a place for us in heaven, but he also helps us to become ready to live there with him. We begin that preparation here on earth. With the help of God and others, we learn how to walk more and more closely to God through our Christian lives. We as Catholics also believe in a place called Purgatory where we are allowed to be healed of any imperfections, even after death, so that we will be fully alive and ready for the joys of heaven. Purgatory is often described as a place of pain and suffering, but it is not so much the pain of punishment, as it is the type of pain that is necessary for healing.

Today is my fourth day of treatment for alcohol dependency. There are many people here including doctors, nurses, counselors, and others who  have been and will be assisting me to return to health. It is very clear to me that none of them are here to hurt or punish me. It is also clear to me that there will be some necessary pain and suffering along the path that leads to health and recovery. Like Purgatory, there is hope that if I continue to allow God to do the work he needs, even though the cure is painful, I will find a place of peace.

Christ has prepared a place for us to be with him forever. He will also prepare us to live there, when we allow him to.

This past weekend I announced to my parish that I will be taking some time to address a personal struggle with an alcohol addiction. As a result, I will also be taking a break from regular blogging in order to focus more fully on my own health, both physically and spiritually. I ask that you keep me in prayer, as I will do so for you.

As a result of the election of Pope Francis, I have discovered this prayer to Mary, Untier of Knots which has been a great help to me in the past few weeks. We all have knots in our life  that need to be untied. I hope this prayer will help you to untangle the ones that are currently causing you to struggle in your own life.