For a humble man is not afraid of failure. In fact, he is not afraid of anything, even of himself, since perfect humility implies perfect confidence in the power of God, before Whom no other power has any meaning and for Whom there is no such thing as an obstacle.

Humility is the surest sign of strength. 

–Thomas Merton from New Seeds of Contemplation

This week’s homily was focused on Christ’s prayer that we may be one. You can listen here.

Today our parish youth took advantage of a great day for hiking in the Smokies. The weather was perfect, but our communication was somewhat flawed as one half of our group gathered at Tremont while the other believed we were supposed to be gathering at Elkmont. An easy mistake, I suppose, as both have “mont” in them, right? After waiting awhile, our group decided to go ahead with the hike and prayed the other group would have a good time on their hike as well.

The Little River trail is unique, in that there are a nearby group of abandoned houses that used to be summer homes for many affluent members of the Knoxville community. We encountered one such house that reminded me of a John Cougar Mellencamp song.

One of our teens was hoping to see a bear on our hike, but none were to be seen today. We did, however, encounter some unexpected company hiking from the opposite direction.

As someone who was fortunate enough to be taught by the Nashville Dominicans in high school, I already knew they played both tennis and basketball in their habits. I suppose I should have known they would hike in them too.

Today’s hike was a fun outing. I can’t wait to hear how the other half our group fared.

The Cord of St. Joseph

But I am here to tell you something wonderful today: you can overcome addiction to pornography. I can honestly tell you this because I have done so, and I was once as addicted as any man.

Before I share more with you, I should qualify what I just said by adding that I still face temptations to lust on a regular basis. It’s just that now I have the virtue to overcome the temptation and choose chastity over lust. But I am conscious of my own weakness and know that if I toy with temptation, it could overcome me again and cause me to fall to sin, so I am always vigilant. Some saints in the Church were given special graces by God to not even be tempted to lust–St. Joseph and St. Thomas come to mind–but most of us have not been given such extraordinary measures and must be prepared daily to face temptation.

There was no one day when I realized I had overcome habitual lust and sexual addiction. It doesn’t work that way. Instead, I kept fighting the battle, availing myself of everything I could to help me live chastely: I put pictures of Our Lady around my computer, went to daily Mass and adoration whenever I could, studied the Theology of the Body, did accountability groups with close friends of mine, wore the Cord of St. Joseph, prayed novenas to St. Maria Goretti and St. Therese, and went to Confession after I fell to temptation.

Some people say this or that measure “doesn’t work,” but different things work for different people. I say, take the shotgun approach: use everything you can and find what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to try something that could help.

One verse that gave me great encouragement during my struggle to overcome pornography addiction was 1 Cor. 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

How reassuring to know that, even when temptation felt beyond my power to overcome, God promises to give the grace to overcome it. I only have to accept that grace.

It took me years of praying, attending Mass, and receiving the sacraments to overcome my addiction. The fact is that lustful vice was deeply ingrained, an evil habit that had worn itself into my heart like a rut in the road. I had to work and pray hard on the opposite virtue of chastity to form a good habit in myself, one that would make it possible for me to avoid falling into the rut of vice again. Though it took a long time, that eventually happened, by the grace of God, and the feeling of being free from the slavery to sin was indescribable. No longer was I controlled by twisted desires, but instead I was under the aegis of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of power, of love, and of self-mastery.

For those of you who are still struggling with this sin, know that I sympathize. I know how hopeless it can feel, like you will never overcome it. But you can. Because God is faithful. The one critical component to victory is simply to not give up, no matter how many times you fall. Ask God for forgiveness, and try again. And again, and again, as long as it takes. Even when you “know” that you will fall again, get up and do your best, with His help. He knows us, knows our weakness, and also knows that through this fight, we will become the manly saints that He created us to be.

Please feel free to share anything that has helped you in growing in purity and avoiding lust.

Devin Rose inspires me with his courage to speak about this often taboo topic. He reminds me that one of the best ways of dealing with sin and temptation is to shine God’s healing light upon them. I am thankful that he agreed to contribute this guest post to Blessed Is The Kingdom. You can read more of his writing at his blog St. Joseph’s Vanguard. His recent book, If Protestantism Is True is available at amazon.com.

On Saturday we finished working on the icon of St. Elias. The last step of writing an icon is placing the white line on the halo. We call it the omega line. This last step is always stressful for me as I worry that the compass will leave a hole right in the middle of the face of the icon. I approached this step on Saturday with some stress. I placed the compass on the board and took a deep breath. As I placed the compass, it slipped and left a nice gash across Elijah’s face.

When your icon has a gash on the face, it necessitates mixing paint that will match the face color of the icon. I did this, and repaired the face, but the reality is that there will always be a gash on the face.

Our lives as Christians are similar. We make mistakes. They leave marks on our lives. They can be covered and our lives can be made whole again. That being said, those marks leave an impression on our lives that cannot be erased. My own experience tells me that this is a good thing. It fosters humility. It reminds us of the need to rely upon God rather than ourselves. The fact that God can make these mistakes into something good also shows us how powerful his love is for us.

Writing this reflection makes me happy to have made this mistake. God tends to use our mistakes much more effectively to teach us the things he wants. I am very happy that he does.

Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, ‘Abba as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?’ then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, ‘If you will, you can become all flame.’

This past weekend’s homily was about fire. You can listen here.

…fortunately for those of us in class this week, Irene is a patient and caring teacher. One of the things that always strikes me about my friend Irene is her ability to encourage students to do their best while correcting the inevitable mistakes that will come over the course of writing an icon.

This afternoon several of us in the class, myself included, began to experience the frustration that comes when things on the board don’t look the way they should. There is always a solution, but that solution is not always apparent, and many times it takes several attempts to bring the icon back to the way it should look. As a result of mistakes today, I learned lots more about mixing colors than I have known in the past. By the end of the day, and after many layers of color, the icon looks more or less how I imagined it should look at this point.

Tomorrow we will put the final touches on our icons. I am certain that none of them will be perfect, which will make them very similar to those who have painted them. They will be, however, the product of many hours of prayer and work in the service of God.